


Memories

by Kurbastianlover (TheFlash)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memories, Memory Loss, Near Future, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25708192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlash/pseuds/Kurbastianlover
Summary: Reader Grew up with Barry and Iris and is in love with Barry. After Barry looses his memory he  falls for reader but he isn't the only one.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West, Barry Allen/Reader, Barry Allen/You, Savitar (The Flash TV 2014) & You, Savitar /Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

You grew up with Iris and Barry and it was always you three against everything and everyone else. Until feelings got in the way. Barry had a crush on Iris pretty much since forever and you had a crush on Barry. But the good friend you are you never acted on them and patiently listened to Barry go on and on about her.

When they announced their first engagement you felt like you died inside. But when they had a fight and broke up because of the reason behind Barry’s proposal and Barry wound up at your door. You felt complete again like he put the pieces of your heart back together only to break it again few weeks later. This time you didn’t react the way expected. It didn’t hurt so much. That meant only one thing. You were finally getting over your crush. You were starting to live again…

So many thing’s happened in the past week. Caitlin became killer frost and works with Savitar. The team finally discovered his identity and to the ulter shock of everyone it is future Barry. But the most recent and no good thing is that Barry lost his memory after Cisco’s miscalculation. Due to memory loss he is acting different and more light and happy, but the biggest difference is that he spends more time with YOU than with Iris. You can feel your love for him strengthen again. He smiles and jokes around and he looks at you like your the best thing in his life. Needless to say Iris doesn’t like it. When one morning you walk in the cortex you’re just in time to hear Barry say something you only dreamt of him saying.

“ I’m sorry I can’t marry you when I have feelings for y/n.”

You just stand there frozen. Iris stormes off with tears in her eyes. Barry looks at you and smiles. Without saying anything he walks toward you cups your face and kisses you. After a few seconds you kiss back. Your heart is beating fast and you can’t be happier. When he pulls back and looks into your eyes he says.

“ I remember, I remember everything. I love you y/n.”

Unknown to you in some old were house Savitar remembered as well and set on a new plan. He still needs to kill Iris but he won’t do it just with Killer Frost’s help. He wants to have you by his side as well. He He will meke you his goddess. This time he won’t send Frost to get you. This time he’ll take you himself. Straight from Barry’s arms…


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time in a long time you could say you are happy and really mean it. You were finally happy and what’s even better you were happy with Barry. Not long after he called off his engedement you two became official couple. Of course you were still trying to find a way to save Iris and it was wearing everyone out. Especially Barry, today was your date. You both looked forward to nice and peaceful dinner. Sadly you never got it. You were almost at the restaurant when a flash of blue lightning passed by you and you were picked up and everything around you became blury. All you could hear was Barry screaming your name.

You finally came to a stop, you looked around and saw some abounded werehouse. Well not enterily abondened. There was a living space for two and sleeping Killer Forst. Suddenly you knew very well where you were. You looked behind you and saw him, Savitar. He stepped out of his suit and you saw the man you love. You saw Barry Allen with much darker and messier hair and burnt half of his face. You were both afraid and relieved. You knew he could kill you if he wanted but at the same time, he was Barry. Barry who you loved since childhood, your Barry.

“ Why am I here?”

“ Because I want you here. I want you with me my queen.”

“ I’m not your anything Savitar. What do you want with me?”

“ You are my everything y/n/n. I simply want you to be with me. Always and forever just like we used to say in school remember?”

You did remember and it made you smile despite the situation.

“ Always and forever we’ll be together. That’s what we said. I can’t believe you remember it.”

“ I remember everything that includes you y/n. I’m not going to hurt you. I love you. And I need you to understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. I need you to see me, the real me. I’m not Barry anymore not completely. Are you willing to hear me out?”

You thought about it for a second. Surely Barry and the team were looking for you and they need time. So you will buy them as much time as you can. But you find yourself really wanting to listen to his story. Something about him just pulls you close to him. You can’t describe it and you try to dismiss it but it’s there and it actually worries you.

“ Yes I am.”

As you sit and listen to his story your heart breaks. You feel bad for him and for all those things he had to go through. Everyone rejected him. Cisco, Joe, Barry all of them. Except Caitlin because she was captured and you. You was nice to him, sympathized with him. Stood up for him. That’s why he never hurt you, you realized. He would beat up Barry have Forst attack Cisco, Joe and Cecile but he never laid a finger on you. Everything made much more sense now.

“ One will stand strong and proud by the side of the love of her life. That was me you…”

“ Yes that was you I talked about.”

He slowly and cautiously moved to you. Step by step as if you were some scared animal ready to run away from him any second.

“y/n/n?”

“ I… I want to go home.”

“ I’m sorry but I can’t take you home. You have to stay here.”

“ Please I promise I won’t tell anyone anything you said to me just let me go home.”

“ I don’t care whether you tell someone or not. I want you here with me and I’m not going to let you leave me again!”

By the end of that sentence he was yelling and you instinctively took a step back from him. He saw the fear in your eyes and cursed to himself. He didn’t want you to be scared of him. But he needed you. He was willing to take risk and play the bad guy on you. He slowly walked closer and closer to you till you hit a wall with your back. Your breathing quickened. You didn’t want to show your fear but you didn’t know what to expect. His eyes were cold and dangerous.

When he was inches from you he raised his hand and it started vibrating. You moved your gaze from his eyes to his hand and back to his eyes. You straightened yourself and without blinking you challenged him, hoping you are right and there’s still enough good left in him. That your Barry is still in there.

“ Do it, kill me. You’re a villain right? This is what they do, they kill without mercy right?”

You took a step forward so his hand was almost touching you. You whispered.

“ Kill me Barry.”…


	3. Chapter 3

“ Kill me Barry.”

His demenrour changed and he put his vibrating hand down. You let out a breath of relief.

“ I won’t be responsible for your death. Not this time.”

Even though he whispered the second sentence you heard it because how close you were standing to him. You frowned.

“ What happens to me Barry, in the future?”

“ I…when everyone rejected me I was leaving star labs and you said you wil go with me and you did. We left together and menaged to find some save place away from them. But no matter what I did, how hard I tried to make it perfect for you. To make it home. You still missed Cisco and the others. So I let you go. You promised you will come back to me. But after a few days Barry wanted to meet me and he gave me this. ”

He reached into his pocket of his jeans and pulled out a lightning bolt necklace.

“ I gave it to you shortly after we left and you didn’t take it off since. So I knew something bad happened. You died and Barry wasn’t able to save you.”

“ You blame him for my death and killing Iris is your revange for it isn’t it?”

“ Partly yes. He took away the love of my life so I took away his.”

“ That’s why you won’t let me go home. You’re afraid that something is going to happen to me if you do.”

image  
“ Yes.”

I took the necklace and turned around.

“ Can you?”

“ Ehm sure.”

He was confused but put it on my neck. When I faced him again he touched his head and hissed in pain.

“ What’s wrong?”

I was suprised by the amount of concern in my voice.

“ Barry he wil be here soon. We need to go.”

“ No wait! Let me at least say goodbye… Please.”

“ I’m leaving this earth until the day Iris dies. I’m letting you go. But you have a choice, either you can go to say goodbye your friends and then meet me at the roof of Jitters and leave with me or you can stay here with team Flash and fight against me when I return. It’s up to you. If you’re not going to be there at midnight I’ll know you choose to stay. ”

He stepped closer to you and gave you a short kiss. In that moment he was your Barry. You gazed into each other’s eyes a few seconds and suddenly he was gone with a streak of lightning behind him.

You just stood there until you saw Barry’s face filled with worry and heard his voice.

“ Y/n are you okay? Did he hurt you? Where is he?”

“ I’m… I’m fine, but I he didn’t hurt me. Let’s get back to Star labs please.”

Barry frowned at your distant voice and unsettled expression but he thought you were most likely in shock and scared.

Little did he know, your head was filled with thoughts. Thoughts of Barry and your friends, thoughts of future Barry and him being Savitar. But there were also questions. A lot of them but one more important than others.

What are you going to do? What will you choose?…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the necklace he gave to reader https://64.media.tumblr.com/ab807373fa752a18ffffe639f0049bd9/8459a7cfa0aa28bd-23/s500x750/482ef6b2d7820b5f7528cc34d5557b73f00c5be7.jpg


	4. Chapter 4

Barry sped you to Star labs where you were immediately hugged by Cisco, Joe and to your surprise Iris. They all basically asked you the same, if you were ok or hurt. You were none of those things. Confused and disappointed in their future behavior towards Barry even if he is “just” a time reminant. You were lost in your head and mindlessly caressed the lightning on your neck. Suddenly you saw a vision in front of you. It was you and Savitar. He just gave you the necklace.

“ Blue?”

“ like my suit. I want it to be a reminder of this version of me not my past one.”

You kissed.

“ I love you y/n.”

“ I love you too.”

The scene before you changed and you were in the cortex with Cisco, Barry and some other guy who you didn’t recognize but apparently his name was Ralph at least that’s what Cisco called him.

“ I hope you know why I am doing this. I’ll miss you guys.”

“ We’ll miss you too.”

“I don’t know why you think this is good idea. That he is any good.”

What happened next really shocked you. Barry torned off your necklace and sped you somewhere.

Another scene played out before you. The lab exploded and Barry got everyone out. Everyone except for you. By his following conversation with Cisco and Ralph you could see that even though he denied it, he had done it on purpose in the heat of the moment.

That’s when you realized something else. Barry never seemed to have any feelings for you until he got his memory back. You knew that because they are the same person that Barry and Savitar are connected somehow. So it is more than possible that the feelings present Barry suddenly has for you are actually Savitars. Wich would meant that he is the one who truly loves you and loved you all along.

You were pulled out from the visions by Barry’s voice.

“y/n are you okay you’ve been staring into space for a few minutes.”

“Can I ask you something Barry?”

“ Of course.”

“ When did you first felt or thought or even crossed the idea that you might love me?”

“I.. After I got my memories back.”

“ Never before that? Not even in the slightest?”

“ No.”

His answer just confirmed your theory. This never loved you. It was always Iris for him. For his time reminant however…

You glanced at the computer screen and saw the time. 11:15. You don’t have much time if you want to be at Jitters at time. You looked at all your friends and smile.

“ I’m sorry but I have to go and I’m not coming back for a while.”

“ What where?”

“ I can’t tell you that I’m sorry. I’m going to miss you all.”

“ You’re going back to him aren’t you? Did he gave you this necklace?”

You signed but answered Barry’s question.

“ Yes and yes. Now I really have to go. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me one day.”

It was 11:30 by the time you left the building. You broke out to a run. You were running as fast as you could not being a speedster. You hoped this time you would be the one who’ll be fast enough…


	5. Epilouge

You ran as fast as possible. When you finally saw Jitters you relaxed a bit. You took the stairs to the roof and when you finally came to a stop your heart stopped. He wasn’t there. Where you late? You glanced at your watch. It was midnight on a dot. Where is he? Did he already leave? You were looking in all directions and slowly walked towards the other side of the roof.

“ Right on time. Impressive, I must say I was getting worried you wouldn’t show up.”

You turned to that voice and saw Savitar sitting on the edge of the roof entrance. You smiled and let out a breath. He waited for you, he didn’t leave.

“ I almost didn’t make it and when I got here and didn’t see you I thought you were gone.”

He sped in front of you and suddenly was really close to you.

“ When I got Barry’s memory of you leaving star labs I knew you were on your way. We should go.”

He opened a breach with a small device and turned back to me.

“ Ready?”

“ Almost I just want to do one more thing.”

“ What is that?”

“ This.”

You leaned in and kissed him. He didn’t hasitate and kissed you back. You parted and looked into each other’s eyes.

“ Now I’m ready.”

He just smiled took your hand in his and together you went through the breach to another earth. To your life together…


End file.
